I honestly don’t have any interest in bashing mp3 players that don’t happen to be iPods. And though I’ve been a happy Mac user for several years, it gives me no real joy to “stick it” to Microsoft. That all being said, this review of Microsoft’s new Zune music player from the Chicago Sun Times is something I just have to share:

“‘Avoid,’ is my general message. The Zune is a square wheel, a product that’s so absurd and so obviously immune to success that it evokes something akin to a sense of pity.”

“The setup process stands among the very worst experiences I’ve ever had with digital music players.”

“The Zune is a complete, humiliating failure.”

Ouch. Though I haven’t used one, it seemed pretty obvious (even before the reviews started coming in) that MS really missed the mark. Their attempts at coining new slang are downright painful. “Welcome to the social?” “Squirting” (wirelessly transferring) music to your friend? Did Gates and Ballmer make this stuff up themselves? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like. Couple these Zuneisms with needlessly complicated music store and some of the most painful DRM around, and it doesn’t take a Podophile to recognize the potential for major stink.

I’m a big fan of new players entering the market… and I want them to be good. The competition will only keep Apple motivated to produce newer, better iPods. But the Zune is turning out to be a text-book case study of what Apple does right, and their competitors often do wrong.

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